Love me like you mean it
and tell me if you feel it.
Don’t pretend to fool
this broken heart of mine
or these bashfully-shed
tears that my face shines.
I am no broken kite nor withered flower
that you can simply let go
or choose to trample upon.
For this soul once throbbed with life,
nurtured dreams and desires;
and I shall hold on to
a fragile wisp of hope
till I choose to die.
Time has left me brittle. This tree of mine is dear to fall as the bark stands witness to all that I have weathered. My branches spread bare, no more leaves for shade to share. The flowers and the fruits have long left me; so long ago that their faint scent do not disturb me.
But like the spring I dearly welcome are those memories that you’ve given me. I feel a new spirit arise one I know I lack. It is the spirit of love and hope that you once mirrored back. What we once were is now my blood. It has become the heartbeat that revives the part of me that matters most – my soul.
Here are my dreams,
Here are my desires.
My heart deeply yearns
for truth to own them.
I bind myself tight with
these invisible strings
of love and of hope;
that keep me together.
Time has taught me well
to embrace what I’ve been given.
And as I love myself, the me that I am;
I know that tomorrow will be
a pleasant ride.
Because through joy or tears,
I’ve got through till today just fine.
It is time.
My heart says so.
I wonder why it took so long.
But here I am.
My heart open, my wounds bare.
And in this sorrow,
My tears are worth more
than this grief you’ve gifted me.
So here I am
letting you go;
and in turn
I’m freeing me.
The heavens are weeping
and the torrent seems endless.
Every drop on the window pane
slithers down to meet another.
Much like how I yearn
to be with you together.
Our grief seems mirrored,
both my soul and this weather.
And just like the sky that awaits
a rainbow – a promise for tomorrow.
I desire your presence that
will banish all my gloom forever.
Wow! It feels like so long since I wrote and it is. I had been on a month long vacation with my family. A much needed one!
But after traveling through two states in monsoon-run India, staying at four different houses in a country with constant electricity shortages, extreme humidity, and blood sucking mosquitoes, not to mention two irritated children and two harassed parents – well, it isn’t exactly the kind of holiday I had had in mind! At the end of it all, I was really craving a break from the vacation! LOL!
I really cannot wait for the children to be grownup enough to pack and carry their own luggage, rush to the lavatory whenever and wherever they needed and fan themselves to relief or find contentment in sweating profusely.
Perhaps I am being too harsh on all the vacation fun we did have. Meeting all our dear family and friends, catching up to everyone was memorable. I probably shouldn’t complain so much. I might miss these memories of traveling together when the kids are older. I guess I should then look forward to the experience of bracing the weather, the critters, the haphazard packing, the bingeing on food, the unnecessary shopping, the unpacking, the aching arms from carrying babies and bags, the sorting, the LAUNDRY…!
Ummmm… No thanks! I’ll just put away these suitcases where they belong – in the attic where no one can find them – under lock and key!
To hold me in the warmth of your embrace.
To gently brush your lips upon my bare shoulder.
Let your fingers find their way through my tresses
that flow down in fragrant waves.
Let your whispers caress every grief
that my heart painfully carries.
May this moment be branded in our hearts
so that we may remember:
To take the time to revive love’s magic
and be young in spirit again.